TGIM (thank god its monday and other rambling thoughts)

Usually people thank God it's Friday. Understandably so. For most people that is. I wanted to thank God this morning was Monday. Because for me our weekends get so busy and full of everything that isn't normal weekday stuff that they never really feel like a time to refuel but to be spent even further. Not that what we do on weekends is stuff I hate. It's just packed with busyness (guess that is spelled right since spell check isn't showing it otherwise).

I am always a bit reluctant to comment on this topic, since the alternative of being alone with nothing at all to do or people to care for ever is more than horrible in my opinion. Like I am thinking people will say "well let's just leave her alone then". Hear me people I love who are part of my life,"I love you and am not trying to get rid of you! OK?"

 I am a person who recharges with alone time though. If God put me in time out, I might secretly breathe a sigh of relief. Only for a while... If we kept to the rule of thumb one minute per year in age I don't even think it would be enough time.... Even if I am getting up there in age. But no not really. I do not want to be on the sidelines of life either.

I remember when I was so sick with something that had been building and getting worse for two weeks after my last baby (bebe # 8) was born nearly 15 years ago. I was put in intensive care locally and then zipped by ambulance to a private room at Rush Presbyterian for a total of 11 days followed by about 9 months at home for recovery.(making a little notation that my healing was not instant even though I have seen Him do instant healings. But this one was a process even though I had been told by the Holy Spirit right before going to the hospital "You shall live and not die and declare the glory of God" I didn't know where that verse was then. You can find it in Psalm 118:17. Another version says "declare the works of God " which I am doing right here right now!)

The words in my head during those sick days would not come out straight from my mouth nor from my fingertips holding a pen to the paper.  And many other scary symptoms along with a pain that never went away in my head no matter what and got worse when lying down. BP totally out of control. Yet I was trying to care for a newborn and 7other kids and a husband, house, business and ministry stuff. Nope. Could not continue as I was. I really thought I might die. Really. So when I heard those Holy Spirit words I hung hard and fast even while thinking what is wrong with me that You are telling me I will not die from it?

Many tests later, after no findings, we prayed for the hidden things to be revealed and low and behold a new doctor came in and did a test like an ultrasound on my head. That is when I heard things like. "You have the brain pictures of a woman in her sixties." Alright I am not there even now, though I am closing in on the age. I was 42 at the time. I heard "You are primed to have massive stroke and it will either kill you instantly or leave you a quadriplegic" Option one or option two. Well I had option three and it had been given to me before I even left home for the hospital...It is times like these we need the word of God "Rhema-tized" to us. God breathed and made fresh and alive.

I needed that word "You will live and not die and declare the glory of God" spoken and re- spoken in my mind and heart. (Which is what meditating on the word of God is) I could not even read correctly at the time from what I remember. I needed His promise. It is why it is important to hide God's word in our hearts. We need to be able to pull on it in times of trouble! And we will have times of trouble. We can't be more than conquerors through Christ Who loves us, if there is not something to conquer. And catch that part "loves us". Hard things to overcome do not mean He has abandoned us. No He is the One who equips us to conquer. Even if I am flat on my back in pain. Even if I don't know where to begin. He shows me. Even if it is to whisper His promise for me to think on when I am too sick to cling actively.

I am grateful to God. So grateful!!! Just think. I could have been unable to do the busy weekend things. I could have been unable to cook the last 14 years of dinners one at a time to care for my family. Don't get me wrong there are times I am not exactly excited to brainstorm and cook one more "delicious perfectly nutritious meeting all the food groups for the day" dinner, lunch or breakfast. Or I could have been unable to wash more loads of clothes to await folding on the couch or dining room table than any one wants a count on. Or read stories to grandbabies. Or unable to speak of the "glory of God" whether to my kids or face to face with someone or in a women's group or teaching in a class or from the pulpit or *gasp* my blogs!

So back to Mondays. This is a restful Monday today. Obviously I am healed and have walked in that healing for 14 years now. Repeated tests show the condition to be gone even when I was sometimes worried it was making a sneaky return. I hope your day is restful too. Even if it is a rest that means you are leaning on Him in the midst of your busy work day. I pray you are strong and at peace today. I pray you hear your Heavenly Father's voice and know His love for you. That you are surrounded by His beauty.

Setting a Firewall (on my mouth)

Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3


Today happens to be a day I thought I would make a fresh attempt  to get my laptop to "Display Internet Explorer". ARRGGG! (spell check is picking up on this expression and not recognizing it as a usable word) I really wish my laptop would just work. So I am using the family desktop which had to be replaced due to its own situation with a lightening strike almost two weeks ago.
Thank God I have that to use!

I happen to think machines should keep working on and on and if they break down I should be able to fix them without sending for a specialist who makes a living doing what they are specially trained to do and I am not.

Frankly it is that I think it is some relatively simple problem like a configuration or firewall setting that will be some quick fix for those who know but will cost me a bunch. So am I just cheap or what?  All my feeble attempts to follow recommendations from the computer and from friends have brought feeble results. And the start of a terrible headache causing me to abandon all attempts...for a while. *sigh*  Probably my headache is my hard head ramming into a wall that someone else will easily be able to scale.

So it got me thinking about a "conversation" this morning. I thought it was just that but evidently it was hitting the recipient (my husband) as "criticism". Once again allow me to *sigh*...When I heard myself through his ears I could see why he was affected that way. I am going to make a bit of an excuse here while still recognizing my fault in the matter. We are a busy, busy, busy people. Not with a high pressured career requiring lots of travel away from home and each other. No. Ours is more central than that.

Ours is the busyness of Family (all who are raising families who have time, please read between the lines there), Family Business (those who are business owners or part of a family business may read on and on between those lines as well), Volunteer work (things we want to be part of to further the purposes of God on this earth..like minded ones please read between those particular lines).

And then there is Marriage. Marriage is a good thing but just like my computer, does require maintnence and some installations along with updates so it does not have to be sent out to a specialist. I have to have firewalls to keep viruses, those unwanted intruders pushing through and making communication and easy functioning nearly impossible between us.

This means my marriage should not be getting just what ever left overs of my time and energy I might manage to scrape up. This means if I am going to "love my neighbor as myself" (and my husband is my nearest neighbor living within my own house), I have got to love myself too. I have to do for myself what will keep some reserves fueled so I can give something to my marriage not just my kids, or work or church. This will help build a wall that keeps harsh words from slipping, zinging, alright flying out of my mouth toward one who should not be a target but instead a recipient of my best. As Jesus said in Mark 3:25 "if a house is divided against itself, it can not stand" and I want this one standing a long, long time.