Setting a Firewall (on my mouth)

Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3


Today happens to be a day I thought I would make a fresh attempt  to get my laptop to "Display Internet Explorer". ARRGGG! (spell check is picking up on this expression and not recognizing it as a usable word) I really wish my laptop would just work. So I am using the family desktop which had to be replaced due to its own situation with a lightening strike almost two weeks ago.
Thank God I have that to use!

I happen to think machines should keep working on and on and if they break down I should be able to fix them without sending for a specialist who makes a living doing what they are specially trained to do and I am not.

Frankly it is that I think it is some relatively simple problem like a configuration or firewall setting that will be some quick fix for those who know but will cost me a bunch. So am I just cheap or what?  All my feeble attempts to follow recommendations from the computer and from friends have brought feeble results. And the start of a terrible headache causing me to abandon all attempts...for a while. *sigh*  Probably my headache is my hard head ramming into a wall that someone else will easily be able to scale.

So it got me thinking about a "conversation" this morning. I thought it was just that but evidently it was hitting the recipient (my husband) as "criticism". Once again allow me to *sigh*...When I heard myself through his ears I could see why he was affected that way. I am going to make a bit of an excuse here while still recognizing my fault in the matter. We are a busy, busy, busy people. Not with a high pressured career requiring lots of travel away from home and each other. No. Ours is more central than that.

Ours is the busyness of Family (all who are raising families who have time, please read between the lines there), Family Business (those who are business owners or part of a family business may read on and on between those lines as well), Volunteer work (things we want to be part of to further the purposes of God on this earth..like minded ones please read between those particular lines).

And then there is Marriage. Marriage is a good thing but just like my computer, does require maintnence and some installations along with updates so it does not have to be sent out to a specialist. I have to have firewalls to keep viruses, those unwanted intruders pushing through and making communication and easy functioning nearly impossible between us.

This means my marriage should not be getting just what ever left overs of my time and energy I might manage to scrape up. This means if I am going to "love my neighbor as myself" (and my husband is my nearest neighbor living within my own house), I have got to love myself too. I have to do for myself what will keep some reserves fueled so I can give something to my marriage not just my kids, or work or church. This will help build a wall that keeps harsh words from slipping, zinging, alright flying out of my mouth toward one who should not be a target but instead a recipient of my best. As Jesus said in Mark 3:25 "if a house is divided against itself, it can not stand" and I want this one standing a long, long time.