Pit Experiences (from the donkeys point of view)

Of course our womens study group topic Get Out Of That Pit, has my mind revolving around types and examples because I love using everyday stuff to point the way to Gods principles at work in our lives...Go figure..Its how I am wired really and actually it is something I enjoy about my life. I just hope I don't drive my loved ones into cross-eyed, brain shutting down, stupors by using it too often in their lives.
The one I have landed on today is a fable I heard that goes something like this:
There was a farmer who had donkey who fell into a pit. There didn't appear to be any way to pull him up and out of the pit. It was narrow with crumbly sides and even the neighbors who by now had gathered said they could not get a rope and harness around him! Now the donkey was old and barely worth what it took to feed him so the farmer made the rather difficult decision to bury him alive! (the story doesn't say so, but I wonder if this one was like Balaam's donkey and had a God given ability to understand things we wouldn't expect a donkey to understand).
The farmer and his neighbors began to toss shovel full after shovel full of dirt over their shoulders into the pit. No one wanted to actually watch what was happening to the donkey. It was just too terrible even if it was "necessary".
Finally the farmer turned to check the progress and to his surprise the donkey walked right out of what had once been his pit! Seems that each time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back, he shook it off and stomped it down until he was near enough to the top to climb out! Smart little donkey! And we hear them referred to as dumb...

So all of us who are at least as smart as a donkey can draw some parallels from this I would suppose. God has many ways to assist us out of the pit, but seems from this sometimes it could be through the unwitting help of our enemies. We can use the stuff thrown at us to climb a little higher sometimes. To press into the Most High and get His perspective. Soon. Maybe it isn't soon enough to suit us or maybe we get kind of messy in the process but SOON we will find ourselves walking out of the pit meant to bury us and living a life that gives God glory and is that abundant life place He tells us about in His word.
Today if you have some stuff thrown at you that threatens to bury you alive stomp it under your feet and reach higher to the One who made you and loves you with His life. He's reaching out for you.

Pity Parties (or am I getting out of that pit)

Have to laugh at my navigation of this blogging  stuff! Tried to make my text color white since I had changed my blog colors. So as I started typing pre post it was like using invisible ink... back to the black until time to post!
Been nearly 3 months since I was last blogging! Time sure has flown by but not with out some pit falls in the mix. So here I am 3rd week into the study our womens group is doing called Get Out Of That Pit by Beth Moore.
Week one's homework discussion had me thinking about the pits of life
and how we throw "pit"y parties (complete with a barbeque pit in case we might want to roast someone over the fire complements of firey tongues). The guest list includes me, myself and I. Occaisionally though, others may be invited to join the party and to their surprise find themselves muddy from the experience even somewhat stuck themselves. There should be a disclaimer on the invitation to beware, dress for mud, wear hip boots, clothes pin for nose against the stench, bring your climbing gear to help you exit, ect.
So am I suggesting ignore the wrongs done to us that may have pushed us in to start with? (and sometimes that is how we got there). Nope. But I do suggest not using a shovel to dig ourselves in deeper or to dig the foundation for a room addition or two. Like don't plan to stay there! Make plans to move on out whatever it takes! So if you or I are are throwing a party let it be a moving celebration and get moving on out of the pit. God has much finer things in store to take us to and will give us the climbing out gear we need through His word, prayer, our dilligence and friends!-  We just want to make sure we don't pull them in while they are helping to pull us out...
Here's to sunny days, brighter futures, and clearer vision compliments of Jesus your savior.

Trampling Grapes or People

Pressure, pressure, pressure I am sad to say has not brought out the best in me but expolsive outbursts! And truthfully the pressure doesn't even have to be much lately because I simply do not have the reserves in myself to respond well. And that is key perhaps. In myself...Now I do know the Holy Spirit dwells in me and praying in the spirit brings refreshing so try to remember that help for my sanity. The problem has been too much stuff. Too much busy-ness. Too many deadlines.  Too many new things added in. Too many events. Too many headaches (nearly 3 weeks worth) Too many complaints coming at me. Too many too many's!
So instead of the pressure bringing out fine wine components of squishing the fruit of the Spirit, I find myself reacting by trampling others with my words and attitudes. Defensive, angry, frustrated, bordering on bitter fruit! I can hardly bear to live with me these days...
So like Paul somewhat I find myself musing what I do not want to do I do.. and Who can rescue me... very loose paraphrasing...and of course what can separate me from the love of God? Miscounted invoices and unjust charges? No. Homeschooling off to an imperfect start? No again. Fatigue and raging hormones from this midlife woman? Thank God He is bigger than that! Oh well who wants the list anyway? I feel like I have made decisions that haven't been well thought out lately and that leads me to wonder about my need for being that ever unatainable perfect person.
I have a feeling for me walking worthy these days means walking in God's grace....

From Nursery to Nursing Home

So it is Sunday and today I am going to give out alot from Nursery to Nursing Home. From the one end of the spectrum (just learning to walk) to the other end (not able to walk well any more). Oh but so much walking was done by those in the last group. A whole lifetime of walking and living. Many of them faithful walking with Jesus walkers and some who haven't yet walked with Him but He continues to urge to come and do so before they reach their very last day on earth. And the first group are just getting started and we get to help them a bit on the way to walking with Jesus.
The last time the group who minister in the homes of the forgotten, as I think of them, there was a grumbley old man who was rough and hard by his words and demeanor. Nothing about him made a person want to hang around with him. Yet he came and sat in his wheel chair along the wall and when I stopped to talk with him and offer to pray he asked me questions about general stuff while hanging on to my hand. (one of my boys visited a nursing home in kindergarten and came home saying "I know one thing, when an old person holds your hand they never let go!")  Eventually he began to tear up and soften and I was privileged to lead him in a prayer of repentance and salvation! Who but God knew that was scheduled for my walk that day....even though I should go expecting. We will see what today holds.

walkin it out (pausing along the way)

Well this could maybe be the good, the bad, and the ugly since there does seem to be that mix this week. Some good events like the progress of the marriage seminar which is pretty exciting are coming together and I am pretty sure while I am doing my part, God has given me something to implement that He knew I would need His help in. So that tells you there is lots of opportunity to keep giving it to Him as far as the care and stress of it might go. So far as of last sunday we have 9 couples signed up from our church with a possible 3 more! Meaning half of our original ticket package is spoken for. The rest will go quickly and hopefully we will go beyond even the ones left.
And then on a personal side I am mid-pause. Those of you ladies who have been or are now know that your emotions almost sabotage you with moodiness and crankiness and in general get trip wired very easily. I really dislike that I am experiencing those symptoms in particular because I am simply not as patient as usual and its downright embarrassing!
It doesn't help that I have put off my CE classes until nearly last minute (I and 1/2 months to squeeze online classes in which by the time I can get to them nearly guarantee my eyes will slam shut and I will nod off so I will be squeezing them in, in bits and pieces through out my days) And then tax filing and oh well stuff of life in general lots of little things that add up to big annoying things (picture the difference between one ant eating a piece of bread and many ants eating one piece of bread) Yeah so today feels like many ants...which takes me back to God knowing I would not be able to accomplish the seminar in my own strength.

Just A Few Observations

So the fast...I did end up eating a late dinner Monday evening feeling a bit like I was failing but also rationalizing (and isn't this pretty much the way of humanity) I had not eaten since Friday evening so this was essentially 3 days and we had some decisions that I was not clear minded enough to think about to make and I was just tired and getting cranky and generally unproductive. So There!
In typical fashion trying to retain righteousness in my own strength instead of Gods very own gift to me, I tried to not eat during the first half of Tuesday. Crashed and burned on that by around 1:30 or so. 
So what happened as a result of this fast so far? Can I tell you the presence of God was so strong in many ways and in fact has me in tears now. So maybe I didn't pull on that to carry me through the finish of my fast in a very solid way but HE IS GOOD and AMAZING!
1. We have recieved permission by New Song to hold the Marriage Seminar in their facility this February (they have the needed Satelitte equip from ccn)!
2. We have found we may offer tickets for less than we originally thought!
3. I recieved a call from a woman who needed food. (again remember Isaiah 58 and part of fasting is sharing our food with the hungry) She attended prayer meeting with us that night and not only recieved food but was HEALED of a condition that kept her unable to stand for long or walk very far (she had already told me she felt like people might think badly if she sat while others stood. I reasurred her it.) We prayed with her and she said "I feel weird. My legs feel weird" She was told to stand then walk. Honestley she began walking and walking and lifting her legs high over and over! Exclaiming how she couldn't do that before! Telling Jesus "You're the Man!" It was very cool! 
4. And then overall some particular words from His word to me that were affirming and special...
And that was all just that day...

Third Day

As expected today was super busy so I didn't have the added temptation of hanging around the kitchen too much. Although dinner will be getting made soon ( by me). The thing I noticed today was an extra awareness of God in the morning. Nice!
And right on the heels of that some life challenges. One car only this week (door got knocked off the jeep). Honestly I am a little too tired to write about them. There were several right off and this is an insert to what I already finished writing here.
The other thing was, as I took kids to school and Marty to work and travelled to my other appointments, was fast food signs calling out to me...Ok. No. Not hearing voices! I am not crazy! I mean I would see one that said "Onion Rings or Fries Any Size $1"  and think "I love onion rings and did that say any size $1?" or another sign "Chicken and Noodles" or "Beef Stroganoff". Well things like that are there all the time but usually don't try to grab me by the scruff of my neck.
I also had to do a short grocery store run. That one I managed pretty well. Though I guess I did buy the largest box of honeynut Cheerios this time. I was tempted by a candy bar at the gas station. I was going to buy it but not eat it. Really. 
Had to drop paper off to Marty at the office and grab lunch for him (mexican) He needed to eat today cause of the pace of his job. And that is valid ok? Scripture tells us not to mistreat employees(as per Isaiah 58) so keeping his blood sugar level is pretty important!  No cranky bosses! And there I was waiting for it surrounded with yummy smells and posters of crepes and cheeseburgers and then given THE BAG with what I happen to know is excellent food.
Fortunately there were stops that had nothing to do with food products..The library, the hospital to pray for a friend, school supply store for paper, the chiropractor to work again on getting myself adjusted.
And so now I am home for the evening and I think I will make it through this day three of the fast. There have been some good God events today. Divine encounters. I think someone wrote of them as God Winks...and I'll follow up on those...and maybe post them soon. Just not right now.

Second Day

Gotta love the originality of my titles so far. So what happens the second day? It is 8:30 pm and I do have a headache. And of course a bit of an aching tummy. And since I have been fairly early on in Chiropractic adjustments my hips are sore too. Over all this has been a good day though. I think mainly because we were busy from early on. I did have some food challenges to navigate which probably goes without saying and my kids were finally on to me at one point when I refused to eat their nachos and cheese after church from the lunch concession.
We went to a movie late afternoon (Sherlock Holmes)where I normally would eat popcorn or SOMETHING but made sure my sons popcorn was in the holder to his right while I sat at his left.
The biggest hurdle by far was making eggrolls for dinner which I had bought ingredients for last week before we the fast decision was made. I was going to refuse when the request to have them TONIGHT was made actually. I decided to keep it to a very simple chicken only version for the kids because really, they are not fasting and neither are the cats or the dog so food was in order for them all. And I indulged myself in drinking chicken broth from boiling the chicken.  Simple things taste pretty good when you haven't eaten in over 24 hours. So enjoying that seemed like cheating a bit.
One huge difference in this fast is that Marty and I are fasting together.
We both had been feeling a leading to do so and decided Sat am upon that discussion and following a program on fasting which I had turned off before it was over Friday pm but was on Sat morning again. (I had actually prayed and told the Lord I was sorry I had turned it off and wished I had heard it through...How funny that it was on again so I could listen through...hmmm)
Tomorrow promises to be a busy day too. That will either help or perhaps be harder since it is day 3 without solids. None of this is for any pat on my back. I just wanted to log it in a real way while before God through the day about things...Like the marriage seminar we want to bring to our community for one...Some how it helps me to know people are real while walking it out...

The First Day

There seems to be something about knowing you MAY NOT that makes the NOT ALLOWED thing so much more desirable. Take for intance not eating. That's right. Fasting. Intentions are top of the line. Convinced my life will be more in tune with God and I will hear more clearly His direction for me with more annointing and all that is indicated by His word. So YES! I will fast and pray secretly (though really now, I suppose blogging about it blows the cover off secrecy wouldn't you say?)
In the past I have managed to keep it secret even from my husband and kids. Generally that was a limited fast, meaning I would allow myself to have one meal in the evening while others ate. No seconds though,just one moderate serving! Or maybe soup or salad only one time a day. The length of the fasts differed also. One day, three days, one week, fourty days.
I can tell you as the primary food prep person in the home this is quite challenging. I admit I resorted to lying to myself - just coming clean with you all since God already knows all about it - and told myself the food was PLASTIC. You know like the fake fruit that used to sit on my grandmas dining room table.
The first day though seems to be the worst. If I just didn't have time to eat or felt too sick to eat not such a big deal. But then that doesn't really serve the purpose does it? It doesn't count as a fast. So what happens my first day? Headache, temptations galore for crabbiness and eating, grumbling tummy aching and not thinking quite as sharply and falling asleep instead of persevering prayer.
So what to do, what to do? How do I move past all this into successfully completing a fast? The key I believe is keeping the vision before me. In otherwords, what is the purpose of the fast? Not just a general it is good for my life in all ways reason. But tag it and keep focus.
How about you? Any fasts you feel free to talk about? Results and challenges?